I cant get no satisfaction...
I guess I will get stuff started as far as sharing in a similar fashion as if I were in the dorms.
Lately I have been thinking alot about what it means to be happy, content, satisfied, etc. Generally I am ok with life; I dont feel overly disgruntled with how my life has treated me up to this point, but there is always this deep down (not always felt) sense of unrest, disatisfaction, desire for more and better everything. Not just material posessions, though this is where it manifests itself most commonly, as it is much easier to buy something bigger than it is to put more effort into my relationships (both with God and people). Still, I feel it basically in all areas of my life.
My question is, is anything really satisfying? Why isnt anything ever good enough? Why am I always a little unhappy, or disatisfied? I heard a serm. where the speaker asked the crowd to do away with the values of the world and hold to the values of God. He said that it wasnt easy, but it was the most wonderful, satisfying awesome thing ever. Frankly, my relationship with God has been a perpetual struggle uphill against myself and doesnt ever seem wonderful. Maybe I am missing something. Is it possible that for some a relationship with God isnt wonderful and satisfying, but simply right? Correct any faulty theology, and please point out my immaturity so that I can grow. It may be that I am just struggling in a slump right now.
I hope I made my thoughts and feelings clear. Comments are desireable.
posted by Logan Greer @ 8:52 PM
2 Comments:
Yoge,
My initial reaction was to tell you to read a few choice verses from Phil. and to think about them real hard until I recalled the times in my life when I could have really identified with you. I anticipate those times will come again. I agree with Nick that total satisfaction while on earth may be impossible. (Lewis' quote about being made for another world comes to mind.)
I don't know if this is useful but Lately, I find that times of depression are often combined with a longing for that Great Day. Those type of longings usually ease any suffering I am feeling into anticipation which centers my focus onto my task at hand. God's task becomes my peace.
Perhaps this has turned into rambling. Even if this is not helpful, hopefully another perspective is beneficial in some way.
Logan-
I'm not satisfied either. don't get me wrong I love a lot of my life. I love my wife, i love all you guys, but a lot of times I'm just sort of okay. I don't know exactly what to do with with that. I suppose, lately I haven't felt that way, (1) because Margo helps me enjoy life. (2) I find when I'm passionate about what I'm doing, then I don't feel the emptyness as much. I might ask you "what does it look like for you to worship?" or maybe a definition of worship. The only thing I have ever known you to really care about is (1)God (2)Aanna (3)Truth; almost in a weird abstract way. How does all that work in your life? Also you might just try practicing joy even when your don't feel like, it seems to work well for Margo. I don't mean that in a way that is decietful, but in a way that recognizes you have some control over the way you feel. I don't know. i love you bro.
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