the trouble with conviction
A full calendar year has not even rolled by since I was given a degree from Ozark CC and I am already beginning to lose my touch. No, no... my faith is not unraveling before my eyes or am I forgetting all the information I learned during my time in the classroom. In fact, going straight into graduate work has helped me continue to sharpen my mind and has been a joy along the way. My struggle lies in my inability to see things as clearly as I once did. My education was grounded very much in a black and white world, but I have overturned more gray than I thought existed. Do I still believe in the inspiration of scripture? Of course! What about the virgin birth? Yes! Literal miracles? Yes, so I am sorry to disappoint if you were looking for a little more action or debate! I think that what I struggle with is finding the means I need to execute my convictions outside of the classroom. How can I flirt with an anti-war viewpoint when I have two brothers enlisted in the US military? How can I call others to sell everything and give it to the poor when I really love my ipod? And is it possible to pursue selfish ambitions and kingdom issues at the same time? If not, I've been trying to figure out a way. And how do these thoughts change the way I teach? Write? Love my wife? Disciple? Pray? Recycle? View non-Christians? And I can't help but wonder how do they change the way we approach this blog?
posted by EricEpp @ 7:20 PM
8 Comments:
I am hesitant to reply to this post so quickly. However, I'll just give a small thought I had and let you know I in no way think this solves your problem. I feel like conviction that brings about a sincere effort might be of some value. Will we ever be totally environment-protectors? No, but I might listen to guy tell me about the environment who makes an honest effort at recycling every week. In a phrase: Perfection is out of reach but striving is not.
PS - Now that you are studying writing I am extremly self-conscience about writing things you will read. My grammar and spelling sucks you know.
Jay, while I wear the label as a "Jackina Jr." with honor I must confess that I am studying creative writing, where English rules and grammar guidelines are discouraged. The "i" can go before "e" whenever you want.
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If I'm hearing you right, it seems to me you're saying, "the more I learn the less I know." I definatley feel you there. It seems that all the areas that seemed so simple and clear have become ambiguous. I don't think that it's a bad thing necessarily because it seems like through the process I've matured in my faith and become more comfortable with the uncertainty of it all. For a philosophical discussion of knowelege not based on certainty I would recommend D.Z. Phillips, "Faith after Foundationalism."
As far as the difficulty of dealing with issues that hit close to home I would encourage pursuit all the more. I know that I am speaking as one with less life experience but I know that integration of theology into ethics has been the most transforming part growing in Christ since I have been at Ozark. So, I'm going to go back to typing a paper on my not so inexpensive laptop and recommend another book for you to read that will cost at least 20 bucks, after eating lunch at Panera, before going home to my comfy apartment and spend more time on this paper so I can get a good grade (I mean serve the kingdom). I would read "Resident Aliens" by Stanley Hauerwas and William Willimon.
You really believe the virgin birth?
man i just kill posts with my comments
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(Asthetic space)
epp, I too have struggled with similar thoughts. Let me know what conclusions you come to. For now I feel too far removed from real world experience to give any semblance of life-tempered opinions.
I was not aware that you were studying creative writing. That sounds awesome. I bet you are great at it. I would love to study that at some point. Let me know more info if you want to/ have time. Email: logangreer@gmail.com
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